Comments on: ~4.16~

By: Laughing Collie

Laughing Collie — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:45:50 +0000

You know, I think Ivan’s dislike for magic may have blinded him somewhat here. It may be true Nick’s conscious mind had nothing to do with the attacks… but hasn’t magic already been defined here as being mostly about belief — and therefore the realm of the non-conscious mind? IMHO there are no terrors, no monsters, as terrifying and implacable as those we create ourselves.

Nick blames tribe for the loss of his daughter — they “took” her with magic. What more fitting revenge could his non-conscious mind come up with than to deprive tribe of all its magicians? How appropriate that these attacks happen at night — when people like Nick are asleep, their conscious minds no longer in control.

Which leads to another interesting question — is the really “wild” John merely someone in clear control of his unconscious mind?

Random speculations here. Thanks for the absorbing stories, Lexy!

By: Laurelian

Laurelian — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:43:03 +0000

I wandered over here from Tales of MU and I have to say that I’m glad I did! What an intriguing and interesting story you’ve wrought here.

And I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be to keep the story moving when you only have 333 words a day to do it in. You’re doing a spectacular job, though. The pacing of this story is wonderful.

Also, Michael and Stephen were brilliant! That was some amazing dialog there AE. I hope we’ll get to see more of them in future Tribe updates.

By: Alexandra Erin

Alexandra Erin — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 04:47:55 +0000

Hey, guys. My brain’s about dead for the night, but I’ll write a Tribe tomorrow morning and another one in the evening to keep this week five for five. Thanks for your support.

By: Barnowl

Barnowl — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 23:53:43 +0000

Can you see Nick arguing that although the threat made him pee himself, the grammar tense shift weakened the threat?

LOL. In this story, stranger arguments have happened.

By: annoying

annoying — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 23:29:28 +0000

@Chris

Right on! People don’t speak grammatically.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:53:59 +0000

Why do people feel the need to be a grammar pedant with dialogue?

Ivan’s a cool character, but why would we expect him to fully grasp all aspect of English grammar… his second language? Can you see Nick arguing that although the threat made him pee himself, the grammar tense shift weaked the threat?

People speak dumb all the time. Dialogue with grammetical inconsitencies is accurater. I seen it all the time.

By: Miss Lynx

Miss Lynx — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:50:05 +0000

OK, being a total grammar pedant here, but Ivan shifts from simple future to conditional halfway through this bit:

…then I will return, and then you will learn if my nickname is fitting or not. Your death, in that event, would be anything but quick… but when it finally arrived, it would be an even greater act of mercy.

And apart from being grammatically inconsistent, the shift from “will” to “would” weakens the tone of the threat a bit.

However, that aside, may I just say how absolutely delighted I am that you’re updating Tribe so frequently these days? I enjoy all your stories (though I’m only just making my way through the old StarHarbor Nights stories before I start on the new ones), but Tribe is definitely my favourite.

By: annoying

annoying — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:30:46 +0000

Almost too prolific for me to stay caught up.

By: annoying

annoying — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:24:11 +0000

OOK!

By: unikhell

unikhell — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:03:25 +0000

spelling error:

The tension in the mucles on

muscles

i will now hide