Stepping into the darkness was like breaking through a physical barrier, only harder… because when you went through a barrier, you were, perforce, through it and on the other side.
The darkness was so complete that it was hard to believe the lighted corridor was behind him. He almost turned around to check, but stopped. He feared two things. One was that if he looked behind and saw the light, he’d turn and abandon his quest. The other was that he would turn back and not see it… he didn’t know what he’d do then.
“Daddy?” came the cry from further on.
“I’m here,” Nick said. “Keep talking, sweetheart… I’ll find you.”
“I’m scared,” Karrie’s voice said. “It’s getting darker, and… and I’m scared.”
“It’s not getting darker, Karrie… it’s pitch black already,” Nick said. “It doesn’t get darker than that.”
“It does,” she said. “So much darker…”
He shivered. The temperature in the tunnel had been so completely neutral… but now there was a distinct chill to it.
Nick had his hands out in front of him as he walked, but he had yet to bump into a wall. Neither had his foot caught on a protruding pipe. Was he still in the tunnel?
“Keep talking, sweetheart,” he said again, reassured by the sound of his own voice.
“Where’s Reggie?” Karrie asked.
“Reggie’s not here,” he told her, fumbling onward in the direction he thought the sound came from. “You don’t have to worry about Reggie ever again.”
“I love him,” she said. “He loves me. We’re going to get married.”
Not on my watch, Nick thought, but what he said was, “He doesn’t love you.”
“He does!” Karrie replied from out of the darkness. “You don’t know him. You never gave him a chance.”
“A chance?” Nick repeated, cold anger rising up within him. “You gave him a chance, and look what happened!“
“What… what do you mean?“
“He killed you,” Nick yelled… screamed, really. “He killed you, you dumb bitch!”
12 Responses
Stay in touch with the conversation, subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.
Wow, Nick needs a good slapping.
So…. in this place what Nick thinks should happen is what happens… at least it seems. Now that he has acknowledged her as dead, is she going to be totally dead? I think I’m starting to look forward to this more than MU. Good job AE on making each set of 333 words so full of story yet so unbelievably suspensfull!
Just as i read the last line, i started yelling “Idiot. Idiot!” at the monitor… Not only did he insult his daughter as “dumb bitch” for almost no reason at all, but he also killed her with the SAME FUCKING SENTENCE. Why is it that people are always so unbelievably STUPID? Why is it that fuckheads like our dear beloved Nick always manage to fuck up their own and others’ lives and still manage to get away with it… Ha! in this case, i hope the darkness swallows him whole and doesn’t let him go anymore, the story’s perhaps better off without him.
Best thing I ever learned from a “how men are different than women” book: A woman feels her way through a dark room with both hands out in front of her. A man feels his way through a dark room with one hand out in front, and the other over his balls.
Okay.. wow! I love this. I need more. I think I like this better than MU, or maybe it’s because this left me hanging, whereas MU has definite endings to each chapter, even if they are just segues into the next one.
That said, Is Nick really that stupid? Here he is in a hallway/labrynth that couldn’t possibly exist except that he believes it does, where the lights keep coming on in front of him as he goes, and he has just talked to his daughter, who he last saw laying outside crumpled in a heap…
Maybe he should just for once stop being an uptight lawyer and have faith.
Wow he really is a dumbass.I mean aside from all the very valid points espoused by the other commenters he’s just going to push her away if she isn’t dead already.
Well, gee. Where do you go from here, now that you’ve killed your daughter?
(great storyline and writing, AE!)
And let’s not forget that Woe said that the man coming to find her is going to kill her. It’s in the chapter where she’s talking to Wow.
Guess that if Nick’s acknowledging that his daughter is already dead really does kill her, we know why he’s going to kill Woe. I hope the flying monkeys beat him with battering rams or something.
and the award for the really stupid idea goes to…
random here, but the walking into the dark kind of reminds me of a bit in a Terry Pratchett book where Granny Weatherwax has to choose light or dark, so she faces the light and steps backwards.
Do you think you’re ever going to be selling this one as a book like MU? because i’d love to have it! keep up the awesome-ness
Tins reads this with one hand held out into this dark tale and one hand covering his balls… Because he knows that Nick is about to be Kicked in his and has (very little) sympathy for what is about to happen… Though as a Father and Grand-Father I have to feel for his loss. Even if it is his own fault.
Tins…
You are all forgetting that it is very different to read or see something than it is to experience it. If you, here and now, were told by some kid that you have to step into a tunnel to save your kid, which you SEE there in front of you; and then have that tunnel be completely irrational; you’d have a hard time accepting your lot as well.
I literally slapped my face at that line. ARGH!