Nick stepped through the door. The yellowish light which spilled in from the garage did not seem to diffuse itself at all the way light normally does. It simply stopped, leaving an illuminated patch on the floor and inky blackness beyond
He looked back through the door at Woe, who gave a little nod, and then he headed onward. As soon as he stepped from the light into the darkness, there was a click from further on, and then a hum, and a row of strangely sickly-looking fluorescent lights came on overhead. He jumped in surprise, and turned once again to look back at Woe, to see if this development had surprised her… but to his shock, the area outside the door had gone as dark as the hallway had been.
“Hello?” he called back. “Woe? Are you there?”
He got no answer. He almost went back through the door to try to find her, but two things stopped him.
One, she had told him he only had one shot at this, whatever “this” was, and he felt that once he passed through that door again, it would all be over. He’d have missed his chance.
Two, it would mean leaving the light and passing once more into the darkness. Could he expect the garage lights to reappear? Maybe. Could he count on it, though?
The walls of the hallway were made of concrete blocks that were darker, dirtier, and larger than the ones which had formed the walls of the parking garage. In fact, he couldn’t say for sure that they were concrete, and not stone. Aside from the lights which ran the length of the ceiling, there were copper pipes and black plastic tubes which snaked their way up and down the walls. The passage ran for about twenty yards and then turned right. The light stopped just before the elbow bend, but he could see that the fluorescent tubes continued around the corner, unlit.
He set off down the hall.
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mmmm, and everything continues rolling on, i wonder where this story will go from here. very interesting story, i will keep on reading simply for the desire to see where it will go from here.
“to see how if this development surprised her” seems to be an error. Probably either “how” or “if” should be removed. And then you’ll need to find somewhere to put in one more word…
Psst… there are 335 words!
I am intrigued. This feels almost like Neil Gaiman to me. Which is a cautious compliment. I’m not sure I could explain that particular phrase in 333 words, so I’ll leave it at that.
Ack! Apparently, MS Works does not count separate words even when separated by double dashes. I’ll have to remember that.
AE, I have been a fan of yours since about February of this year, when my boyfriend introduced me to Star Harbor. I’ve never really posted before, because I didn’t know what to say. I thought this could be a time where I let you know that I’ve been silently lurking all your sites *laughs*. I love MUTales, and I check it every day for updates. I just finished reading this one, and I checked out 365tales (which was a great idea btw, and I’m thinking of something to contribute).
…I’m really good at getting off topic. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I think you are a wonderful author. You have been very good at keeping my interest with well developed characters, interesting plotlines, and surprising twists. Keep it up!
This reminds of the the Greek myth, I can’t remember the names, but the man had to travel into Hades to fetch the woman he loved and he only had one chance to do it. Hopefully Brown won’t look back.
Its a little after the fact so I’m not sure if this will get seen. But the myth you’re looking for is Orpheus and Eurydice. Orpheus charms the dog guarding the way to Hades with his music, finds Eurydice, and is allowed to lead her out as long as he doesn’t look behind him to make sure she’s following.
The other myth certainly being referenced is Ariadne, especially with the red yarn.